I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just want to make out with him forever
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
