You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My breasts were aching with rage.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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