is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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