So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
