You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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