your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Randomize
