I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
