so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
