I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
