I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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