4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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