next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize