Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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