I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize