fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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