She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
