are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
