bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
