Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
