I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
