I showed him my bush... on skype.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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