One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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