Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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