Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
