Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
