I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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