I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
