Your tits are I can't wait for
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
