I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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