so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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