you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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