If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
