my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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