It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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