OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
