was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
