saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize