Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
True college students do jello shots in the library
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
