That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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