neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
