i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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