I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i've created a new STD.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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