we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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