That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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