I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
