Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
a search helicopter?!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
