Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
