I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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