and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
