Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
