: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish I could teleport
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
