You're so nebulous sometimes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
