it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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