If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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