He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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