I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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