if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
