i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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