I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
