hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
