i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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