I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i dont even know how to be here
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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