I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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