she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
