the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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