I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
