shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
