I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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