so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
